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Tuesday Thoughts: answering difficult questions.

I like to think of myself as a goal setter. If I set myself out to accomplish something I do so, generally well and quickly. However, goal setters do things like plan out and write down goals and this is where I struggle. I have spent years trying to figure out why I have a hard time articulating specifics of what I would like to achieve. I believe the main reason for this is, I have a tough time giving answers to very important questions. I am a dreamer and it is easy for me to visualize what I would like to achieve, but I have a hard time putting those aspirations into words. I realize the importance of this, so I have made a habit of asking myself and journaling each day what I am grateful for, what I could do today to make it a great day, and at the end of the day, what I could have done to have made it a better day. This practice has slowly helped me articulate what I feel and see inside, into words and gets me a step closer to doing the same with my goals. Of course, this blog helps too!

Earlier this week I found inspiration from a post written by Susie Moore. In her blog post, “5 Killer Life Coaching Questions You Can Ask Yourself” she says, “most people do not pause to ask themselves the big questions. The real questions. The questions that will change our lives for the better. Often we do not take a moment and think about what really matters to us and what our contribution to the world is.”  Given I have been taking baby steps in answering small and simple questions, today I am taking the plunge to answer the questions Susie says are most important.

So without further ado, here are my answers… (This does make me feel very vulnerable, but that is a good thing!)

How happy am I overall, today, out of 10?

Today specifically I am having a hard day. I am on day two of a massive headache. I literally feel like I am balancing a ton of bricks on the top of my head and the pressure is bad! I will admit I have been in a funk, feeling uncertain and definitely backtracking. However, I remind myself that today is today, there is always tomorrow. Embrace the funk today and move on tomorrow. So today I give myself a 5.

In general during this period of time, I would give myself a 8. I feel happy in my life right now, much happier than a year  ago, but I know there is a lot more happiness to come, so I refuse to rate things higher. I am exceptionally happy in my marriage. I am happy in my relationships with my friends. I am mostly happy with my health and physical stature. I am mostly happy with family relationships, and the efforts I have put in. I am mostly happy with where we live. I am okay with my job (the one that pays me). I am not happy with difficulties we are having with our home or our financial situation (which both stem from the same problem). I am the happiest with myself and the work I have done to improve than I ever have been before. So in totality, I am pretty happy.

Answering this question helps me understand areas I need to work on and those I can make sure continue to thrive. If I do this, I know I will be happier. I am making simple steps every day to improve my happiness with my career, and that makes me see my overall number rise.

What type of life do I want to lead?

I have talked about wanting to lead an authentic life. Gosh, is that something to strive for! I want to be transparent, as I feel we all would be a little less intimidating, and the world would be a little softer if we were not afraid of showing who we really are. I want to keep and continue to make my marriage my number one priority. I want to be a mother and love those kiddos with my whole heart. I want to be supportive of my husband and children. I want to build a village (friends and family), who will help influence my children and support my family.  I want to lead by example with forgiveness, patience, and kindness. I want to inspire others to work on themselves and not allow outside influences to bring them down. I want to create a career I am passionate about and work for myself. I want to stay physically fit, healthy and beautiful. I want a home where when people visit they are comfortable and feel welcome. When I talk with someone I want them to feel I am giving them my undivided attention and understanding. I want to master the skill of listening. I want to make others feel included. I want to travel the world with my husband, family, and friends. I want to be 100% financially independent from all debt. Have enough money to live very nicely, but not too extravagant, and enough to leave my children to benefit from.

What does success look like to me?

Success looks a lot like what I stated in the previous question. Overall success would be finding a balance between work, play and family time. Each piece lived with passion and purpose and surrounded with love.

What brings me joy?

A schedule. Staying busy and having something to look forward to, but having time to relax. My husband, family, friends and dog. Exercise. Working towards my future career. Helping others achieve success or achieve their goals. Holding hands with my husband, and cuddling in front of the T.V. at night. Long talks about the future or the meaning of life. Traveling anywhere at any time, with nice accommodations. Wine and a fancy cocktail. Talking to my Mom on my morning walks. The movie theater, popcorn and diet coke. A good book. Interior design. Trying new restaurants and repeated visits to my old favorites. When a baby or a child smiles back at me in the grocery line. Cooking. Writing. Handwritten notes and mail. Lip synching and dancing. Date night. Purchasing something pretty or of quality. Facials. Expressing gratitude. Forgiveness. Learning new skills to help elevate my life.

What can I do in the next two weeks to bring more joy, passion, and purpose to my life?

A lot of what I am already doing. Keeping up with this blog. Finishing my current book. Spending quality time with girlfriends. Plan a party. Write a handwritten note and mail it to someone I am thinking of. Enroll in and begin a coaching program. Hire someone to help me further develop this blog. Kiss and love my husband each morning and each night. Text my parents while they are on vacation. Call my sisters and my brother and check in with my in-laws. Get spirited about the holidays and cooler weather. Take Paisley for more walks. Ride my bike. Review our financial situations and follow our plan.

At the end of this exercise not only do I find myself more fulfilled and clear on my goals, but I feel happier. I would say my day instantly went from a 5 to a 7. Go ahead try it yourself. Enjoy!

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