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Category: Watch

Tuesday Ted Talk: refusing to settle : the quarter-life crisis

Have you heard of a “quarter-life crisis”? Is it the new mid-life crisis? Maybe it is just another life crisis? I’m not quite sure, but I have definitely experienced it. In Adam “Smiley” Poswolsky’s Ted Talk, “Refusing to settle: The Quarter Life Crisis” he discusses strategies of how you can avoid a career crisis, or at least how to move out of it. Working through my own struggle I have learned these strategies on my own, but it would have been really helpful had I seen this video some time ago.

My favorite strategy of Smiley’s is to find “believers”. These are people who have dreams they believe in, dreams they are trying to live. These are the folks that ask “why not”? They not only follow their personal dreams, but they encourage and hold others accountable for following their own as well. Believers can be hard to find when 70% of people are disengaged in their jobs, and the majority believe everyone is in an unfulfilling job they just have to deal with. Listen closely, seek them out, they exist, and surround yourself with believers.

Another Smiley tip is, you should pursue what is meaningful to you, and stop comparing yourself to others. Sure, it may appear friends or strangers have things figured out, and perhaps you are afraid of what they may think of you. The truth is, no one knows what they are doing, they are all figuring things out as they go. Most people think the grass is greener on the other side, but then do not follow their dreams because they are afraid of others opinion. So find what is meaningful to you, follow that feeling, achieve those goals and begin a life with purpose. As you continue to water and engage in your pursuit, your grass will be greener too.

This Ted Talk may seem as though it is only for millennials, but do not fool yourself, there are adults of all ages who would benefit from this little pep talk from Smiley. Take a look and enjoy.

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Tuesday Ted Talk: the power of vulnerability

Authentic. To me, this characteristic is extremely powerful and valuable. This summer, I spent a lot of time thinking and talking about what it means to be authentic and how I can lead an authentic life. Expressing my desire to do so, those I tell seem surprised. Each have responded with, “You are already authentic, what do you mean you want to be more authentic?”. Although craving authenticity, the first time asked, I did not anticipate that question and found myself unsure of how I would answer. My response was, “I’d like to not care what others think of me, and just be me, in order to truly connect with myself and others“. Okay, that was a start…

At this point, I started thinking about beliefs versus fact (I wrote about that here). I assume many things to be certain based on belief or feeling, not fact or evidence. I recognize for me to be authentic, I need to work on looking at fact rather than belief. I will always have feelings, but they may change over time. I want to reflect more on fact, to help get out of my own head, move on, and represent my authentic self.

During a particularly difficult week last month I started comparing myself to others. I could not help but feel sorry for myself when visiting a friend and hearing of all her new and exciting endeavors, but thinking “why not me?”. Then Instagram took over and I was aboard the “Compare Yourself to Total Strangers Train“. Happen to know that one? It’s self-torture in today’s age – ugh! In the midst of these feelings, I had a conversation with a coach who reminded me authenticity is about finding happiness within yourself and the moment you are in. Took note of that.

The subject came up again in a conversation with a client last week. What he said was a game changer, “to be authentic you must be vulnerable“. VULNERABLE. By definition, vulnerable means “to be capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt“. This resonated with me as I realized everyone is vulnerable. Perhaps some hide their vulnerability better than others, but is that actually better? If we allowed our vulnerability to be seen, would we understand one another more? These questions have me see vulnerability differently these days. Being vulnerable and having pain is not a bad thing. Without pain we would not be able to feel joy. Accept it or not, vulnerability is the one characteristic connecting us all together. Embracing my vulnerability brings me a step closer to my authentic self, better connecting with myself and others.

The icing on the cake was this popular Ted Talk, which was presented to me in three different ways in the past 36 hours (talk about the universe speaking to me). I took it as a sign to watch, and Brené Brown’s speech on “The Power of Vulnerability” struck me hard, on my path to authenticity. I encourage all to watch the entire talk. My favorite part is from 8:45-11:10 when she discusses her research regarding people who felt a strong sense of worthiness and what they had in common. Brené says, “they all had courage, compassion, and connection in common. The connection part was a result of authenticity and the willingness to be vulnerable in order to connect with others“. Brené beautifully puts into words exactly what I have been learning and searching for. Additionally, through her research, she validates each revelation I have had in working towards my authentic self.

This journey is going to be a good one.

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7 Things About Fear I Learned From Jim Carrey.

Jim Carrey’s commencement speech given at Maharishi University has found popularity through the web over the past year. With nearly one billion YouTube views, Carrey’s message about overcoming fear, and finding your path reached more than just Maharishi University’s 2014 graduating class.

Here are 7 quotes in Carrey’s speech that inspired me:

1. “So many choose a path out of fear disguised as practicality. What we really want seems impossibly out of reach and ridiculous to expect so we don’t ask the universe for it.”

2. “You can fail at what you don’t want so you might as well take a chance to fail on what you love.”

3. “The effect you have on others is the most valuable currency there is, because everything you gain in life will rot and fall apart and all that will be left of you is what is left in your heart.”

4. “Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world. Don’t let anything get in the way of the light that shines through this form. Risk being seen in all of your glory.”

5. “My soul is not contained in the limitedness of my body. My body is contained in the limitedness of my soul.”

6. “Let the universe know what you want, working toward it while letting go of how it comes to pass.”

7. “Take a chance on faith. Not religion, but faith. Not hope, but faith. I don’t believe in hope, hope is a beggar. Hope walks through the fire and faith leaps over it.”

You can see the entire speech here.

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