Skip to content

Friday: this week’s favorites.

It is funny to me how on years end I feel two things. First believing an entire year has gone by again, having trouble letting go of everything the year brought. Second the opposite feeling of hope and aspiration for the year to come. I notice towards the end of the year I pile in plans  as if I only have this year to have those experiences and forget that there too will be time in the next year. Does anyone else do this? With that being said these last few weeks of 2015 are looking very busy. Instead of dwelling on the years end or trying to pack in, even more, I am going to appreciate and savor these next few weeks and all that is going by.This weeks favorites:

These days by evening time I have definitely hit decision fatigue. Maybe it is time for a decision detox in 2016! (Marie Forleo)

Starting a business or pursuing any dream can be hard. These tips are helpful. (The Every Girl)

Be sure to live YOUR life, and make sure to pay attention to these 12 tips. #2 & #3 I couldn’t agree more. (marc & angel HACK LIFE)

Ryan Holiday’s most recent post is in line with my Tuesday post. (Ryan Holiday)

My very favorite read of the week. Finding an understanding of yourself and acceptance of others is the key to life. (Thought Catalog)

  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
Leave a Comment

Thursday Thoughts: curiosity. a cure for kindness and understanding?

For several years on a regular basis, I have met with a therapist/coach to help me navigate through my thoughts, feelings and experiences. We have spent hundreds of hours discussing relationships, whether it be relationships with my husband, family, friends, co-workers, bosses or myself. Like anything in life, relationships have their ups and downs. When they are down, I focus on bringing them back to a healthy state, or sometimes have to recognize the relationship has hit its expiration date. There have only been a couple relationships I have decided to move on from, and it has taken great effort to keep many of my most important relationships intact.

There are several strategies I have used over the years, like reaching out even when I feel its the other persons turn and going along to get along. Oftentimes most strategies do not work all that well. Besides letting go of any resentment and forgiveness (in circumstances it exists), the one strategy that never seems to fail is displaying genuine curiosity in the other person. My therapist recommended this to both my husband and me during a particular family crisis. I remember not believing her when she told us to stop focusing on what the other person did wrong and instead be curious about those who we were in the relationship with. She recommended we start asking them more questions about themselves. The questions could be  about their childhood, careers, or hobbies, to name a few. She said this will not only get your mind off of existing tension, but the other person would feel appreciated, honored, and happy to share their story. More importantly, we would likely gain a larger matter of respect for that person. We have a better understanding as to who they are and why tension may exist, making it easier to let go of resentment. When I started being curious, I listened, I heard and started to see more clearly. This lead me to understand and accept the person on the other side of the relationship, and allowed the relationship to grow.

This week, I came across the article “How Curiosity Can Help Us Be Kinder and Less Judgmental”, by Jen Picicci. This article is a story on how being curious helped Picicci become less judgmental of others (strangers included). She said curiosity helped her be less assumptive of others actions or behaviors. Picicci did not ask questions like I was, but instead dreamed of all sorts of reasons why someone would behave a certain way. When she thought of many reasons and was curious, it made the other seem more relate-able and she had a better understanding of them, therefore releasing judgement.

So the next time you find yourself having a difficult time in a relationship, or having judgement be curious. See how that changes your perspective and allows you to live a kinder, more accepting life.

 

 

  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
Leave a Comment

True Story Tuesday: no rides needed on the comparison train.

It is a hard thing for me to admit, but there have been many times I have taken a ride on the comparison train. It is easy to hitch a ride on this train, but not an easy journey. It is rather bumpy and takes you through a tunnel of envy and self-pity, leading nowhere at all. It can be hard to jump off as the tunnel goes further and further into the dark, but with the right techniques and realization of what train you are riding it is possible to make it stop.I am guilty of comparing myself to those I love most. My closest friends, even family. In the past, I have acted happy for a friend, who achieved something great when secretly I was not genuine. I would feel sorry for myself, for not being in the same position, or achieving whatever they had. I am also guilty of comparing myself to complete strangers or celebrities. In a world where social media rules every spare minute of the day, looking into the best parts of others lives and comparing yours to theirs can easily become an everyday habit.In the past when I had no knowledge of how to reflect on myself, trips on the comparison train would go way too far and long. I would become more self-absorbed trying to keep up with those around me, instead of focusing on how I could be the best me. Fortunately, now I can feel when I am triggered and change my viewpoints. Practicing gratitude and surrendering to my destined path have been main helpers in stopping the train. The more I remind myself of everything I have and what I love about my life, the less I care what others have, and can be genuinely happy for their success. The more I let go of control, and let God’s plan lead my way, the more I have faith I too will have the same, similar or even better (in my perspective) experiences. Realizing that for the most part, what is shared on social media is mainly highlights of  larger lives, that each have their ups and downs, puts things in perspective too. Besides here on this blog, even my Instagram and Facebook accounts only show the fun I am having, which is only a glimpse into my larger life that has its challenges too. Finally, the most important thing I have learned is that we are all so uniquely different, with different experiences, different paths, and different journeys. Understanding that no one is exactly like me makes it easy to stop comparing because it is not an equal comparison. Learning to accept myself and working towards bettering my unique qualities, creates happiness, wholeness, and comfort, freeing me from the comparison.For more tips and tools to find freedom from the comparison train, and acceptance of who you are, where you are at and what you have, read “How to Stop Envying Other People’s Seemingly Perfect Lives”, by Sonia Devine. Travel safely!

  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
Leave a Comment

Friday: this week’s favorites

I felt out of my element this week. Maybe because my schedule shifted from weeks prior, or maybe it was coming off the long holiday weekend, or this unsure feeling I was getting sick or not. I am not sure exactly how to pinpoint how I felt, but I look forward to starting fresh again this weekend leading into next week.

Some of this weeks favorites…

The Golden Rule. (Lolly Daskal)

I follow some of these tips regularly. (the Positivity Blog)

Speaking of work-life balance yesterday, this article is all about making a living of something you are passionate about. (Paid to Exist)

Watch and listen to Marie’s interpretation of Chuck Swindolls famous quote “Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it“. (Marie Forleo)

A powerful law. (Proctor Gallagher Institute)

 

  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
Leave a Comment

Thursday Thoughts: work. life. balance.

Work-life balance is something I strived for, for years. In fact, I left a stable job where I had achieved much success, in order to find more work-life balance. I could not stand the feeling of the “Sunday Blues”, or living for Friday at 5 p.m. EVERY. SINGLE. WEEK. I wanted less work and more life in my life. After taking a new job providing me the flexibility to work from home, with a little extra time to pursue my passion, I feel I have achieved the work-life balance I had been striving for. However, this balance is different than I expected.

When working an 8-6 corporate job, I thought work-life balance meant having time for your work and life of which was separate from each other. Once I had time to focus on my true purpose, my work and life started to blend, creating balance. The reason being? I was working on my passion and passion is a huge part of one’s life. In doing work I am passionate about I no longer feel  I am working and instead feel inspired and more playful, two feelings I wanted more of from my life.

In Ted Coine’s article Work-Life Balance Is A Crock“, he argues, when we say “work-life balance” we are saying work is not a part of our lives. But work is a part of our lives. A big part. Work is where we spend most of our waking hours, and what generates income for our livelihood. We should not strive to separate work and life. We should strive to find work that is pleasurable and we want to be our lives (of course in addition to other important things). Coine recommends instead of looking for work-life balance, we find our “Flow“. Flow is, “work that is so fascinating to you, so fun, that you choose to do it when you get home. That joy of work that inspires you to lose track of time, to keep you going and going, getting energy from your work (or hobby) versus burning your energy up. Flow is where we all should be”.

If you are striving for work-life balance, perhaps you can look at it differently now. Perhaps you can make a change in your life. Perhaps you can realize you are not doing the work you are meant to be doing and start on your journey to discover your purpose. No need take huge leaps and bounds immediately but recognize if this is where you are at. You can start small to find your “flow“, you can pursue the hobby you have always been interested in, or start a side business in your free time. Stay engaged, stay focused, the right work will appear in time and you will find your “flow“.

 

 

 

 

 

  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
Leave a Comment

Lara’s Links: Wednesday

3 Ways Life Can Trick You Into Being Selfish (A Daring Adventure)

Success Is A Sunrise Away (Lolly Daskal)

Relax: 5 Steps To Ask For Your Truest Desire (Pick The Brain)

If You’re Scared To Share Yourself And Your Gifts (Tiny Buddha)

­

3 Simple F-Words to Help You Create the Life You Want (The Change Blog)

 

  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
Leave a Comment